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<title>body forgive me by simplesilence</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22471351">body forgive me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplesilence/pseuds/simplesilence'>simplesilence</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:42:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>213</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22471351</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplesilence/pseuds/simplesilence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>title from, and generally inspired by, blythe baird's "relapse" and "when the fat girl gets skinny"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>body forgive me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>i am scared of my own thoughts sometimes</p><p>i should not wonder what would happen if i held my fingertips against a flame</p><p>let my skin blister and melt together</p><p>would i not have fingerprints</p><p>if the one thing that makes me "unique" is burned off will i finally fit in</p><p>i barely ate and then i went to the gym and i burned off a fifth of the calories </p><p>"body forgive me"</p><p>how could i not starve myself when people call me pretty now</p><p>"you're so skinny i wish i could be that skinny"</p><p>why would i eat when people like me like this</p><p>
  <strike>the people that matter won't like me whether i eat or not</strike>
</p><p>i know this is not good for me</p><p>but i do not deserve good</p><p>i had so much good and i ruined it i fucked it all up because i couldn't believe that i deserved happiness</p><p>there are five people i would die for</p><p>and five that i would live for</p><p>only two people make both lists</p><p>i wish i could tell them that</p><p>but they've moved on</p><p>each in different ways, but i'm not blind </p><p>
  <strike>unfortunately</strike>
</p><p>
  <strike>because some of the things i saw today hurt more than i'd like to admit</strike>
</p><p>
  <strike>i haven't stopped crying</strike>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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